The House Always Wins

"Because the house always wins.
Play Iong enough, never change the stakes, the house takes you.

UnIess, when that perfect hand comes,
you bet big. Then you take the house."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkAR8wAWiHM

This is the perfect prescription to take on what life has to offer.

Random Lungi Sighting ...

On a flight from Hyderabad to Chennai, I saw something worth a blog. I saw man wearing a sarong (lungi) boarding the flight ahead of me. Now it is something you won't see too much of in the North, unless you happen to meet our current Home/Defence Minister or their southern colleagues. Anyway, Hyderabad is South India and I chided myself for being surprised at this. Then I saw his hand luggage and immediately you knew I had material for my next blog!

The man was carrying a "lungi-holder". It was similar to one of those contraptions you would pack a suit in. But this was designed for those white formal sarongs or "mundhu's" that people down south would wear. Some of you might have seen it before. But this was the first time I had seen such a thing. My only regret right now is that I hadn't taken a picture of that!

Thank God I don't have a TV

Else I would have to had to see the sorry charade of a wife beating, coke snorting imbecile, whose only credentials in life are his father's name, being paraded around TV channels as the hottest new celebrity in India. Damn reality TV. #$#!@#!#%$@#$%#$

The fact that this show is still playing, means that a lot of people are watching it. Talk about society dumbing down...

The day that would live in infamy

It would have stumped Gandhi,
Nehru would have wept silly,
Patel would have hung his head in shame,
Bose...I wonder what Bose would have done...

It was the day when M.F.Hussein renounced his Indian citizenship and became a citizen of Qatar. I'm not sure that if any or all of the aforementioned gentlemen would have been fans of his art. But what I am sure of is that this is not the India that they had fought for, two of them had died for.

Hundreds of Sikhs were burnt in '84 but we tread on. Thousands of Muslims have been plundered and massacred many times since Independence, but somehow we still went on. Hindus themselves, have killed each other more than a thousand times in the name of caste since independence, yet we were able to go on. We have managed to carve out a political constituency and ideology on all sides of these tragedies. And our country has flourished under a veneer of democracy that we flaunt as a trophy at our lesser democratic neighbours. Flawed as this is, it only takes a cursory peek at our neighbours to realize how blessed we are.

Yet there is no solace for this 96 yr old man. There is no constituency that he could provide, that might interest anyone. Once upon a time, he was an interesting man to hate and whose art could be trashed with great media publicity. But now, that art of trashing has lost its media mileage.

Now he is just a sorry testament to what sometimes looks to be an oxymoron "WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;
LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;
EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;
and to promote among them all
FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;"

One man we fail and its a slap on my Indian face that he chose to find freedom elsewhere. Lets be upfront about this. Indian art is not going to die because MF Hussein decided to be a Qatari. Its not even a drop in the ocean that is India. Nothing died, except even if only by a little bit, the idea of India.

Innocence Lost

Been to any self-service food joint off late? McDonald's / Subway / Nirula's ? Paid the money and got the bill before the order was placed? Waited for a table to get free? Waited for your order no. to flash on those electronic boards?

There is a place in India, where they would give you the food first and then the token, then you go pay the bill. Where you will never get a full table for yourself, and usually you go and share the place vacant in the next available table. The guy who took your bill, will bring precisely what you ordered to your table. They serve arguably the best breakfast you might get anywhere in India.

I have been to this place only once. It was recommended by a lot of friends. I loved that place and would recommend it too. When you go to Pune next, go to the German Bakery. Somebody bombed it today. 8 people died and 30+ injured.

They will probably frisk you silly before you enter that place again. But you should go. I will go too. This bomb shouldn't change us.


He lives in the street next to German bakery. I hope you meet him. He lives under the table of one of those shops that sell footwear on the lane leading to Osho ashram. He has a limp and is fond of marking his territory. I wonder what he made of that big bang noise. I wonder if he would change. Tell him he shouldn't. He is a smart dog. He would understand.

A Master Class in Ripostes

This is not a political article, but an attempt to highlight, how you don't have to roll in the mud with your opponent to prove a point or win the argument.

This was what Rahul Gandhi showed the Shiv Sena last week. The Thackerays had been throwing expletives aplenty at Rahul. These included gaalis on his sexual drive and his mother. (Generally these kinds of gaalis are the preserve of the North Indians that the Thackerays swear to hate! I guess the gaalis have migrated and assimilated better than their creators!)

Such provocation, would have got most men to react violently.What we saw from Rahul Gandhi ended up showing the Thackerays as barking dogs who have to send their lackeys to bite err.. hold black flags. It showed maturity on the Cong G-Sec's part. Letting the Police arrest the Thackerays would have given them undeserved hero status, but ignoring them and doing as he wished, he put them in their place.



The politics of this aside, the learning is people might provoke you to say or do things. If u get provoked, they win. Hold your game and keep your eyes on the prize. You will win in style.

Conformity makes you happy?

I work for a well-known company in India. My job involves meeting a lot of people, everyday. People from various backgrounds and at various levels in the organization. If one were to step back from the sheer tediousness of listening and talking to so many people, its actually a very fascinating experience. Not an experience that I would recommend anyone embrace, but one that I'm sure people would appreciate.

I see a lot of people who have no idea, why is it that they do what they do. People are sticklers for conformity. Thats what they have done all their life. That was what families, peers and societies have demanded out of them. They have got a degree in a subject, which they had no idea they were interested in, but the family circle, thought being an Engineer or a Doctor was respectable. Being an MBA was respectable. They are in marriages which were forced upon them, as they hit the marriageable age. An age deemed by society. Men and women, who are kids themselves, are changing diapers. People in love, decide to tie the knot, coz society demands that they need that stamp of conformity to lead a normal conjugal life.

All these things come at a cost. Your education, love, marriage, loveless marriage. Everything. And the cost is not always money. When such things of greater importance have been an exercise in conformity, what are the odds that your job is going to be any different? You get into what, at the time, was the most talked about industry and meet people like me. I would tell you that, after a point this job like most corporate jobs, would become a pursuit of the next pay cheque to pay your bills. Fulfillment of the soul is moot, as there is no soul to fill. You might think that Conformity, never killed anybody but creativity did. Well my friend, each day you conform, you die a little. Its a pity we hardly do anything about it, though we realize we are dying.

Go on. Be a Tiger (the jungli billi). Challenge the paradigm. Tiger Woods screwed it up, coz he tried to conform to what society expected of him. Nobody lifts an eyebrow at a George Clooney, Vijay Mallya or a Lewis Hamilton. They live on their own terms and make money too.

I recently watched this movie, "Up In The Air" and I must say no movie in recent times has left such an impression on me. I live a nomadic life and revel in the anonymity it gives me, even from my family. We all need someone / something to cling to. But is conformity the price that we pay for it? Are we willing to bear the weight of this conformity?

I have no answer to this question. In life, we need to decide for ourselves, what are the Principles of Life we need to adhere to and live them, regardless of short term consequences.

Watch the movie: "Up In the Air"



An excerpt from the dialogues:

George Clooney: How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?

The Guy He is Firing: 27 Grand a Year

GC: And when were you going to stop and come back and do what makes you happy?

TGHIF: Good question

Observations from a road trip

1. Do you have a car, money to buy fuel but sit at home on a pleasant Sunday noon, thinking how bored you are? Its time you get car-jacked. The thief would make better use of your car.

2. Traffic on the road and at the wine shop is much thinner on Sunday.

3. I've always known that Punjabis are loud, but drunk Punjabis are louder than a Pioneer music system, belting out Psychedelic rock.

4. A drunk Punjabi forgets directions within 10 mts but can still buy awesome cake. Road trips are infinitely more fun when drunk Punjabi is around (No offence to Punjabis, your women are hot!)

5. No Punjabi, drunk or sober, would accept non-kadak roti at a Dhabha. It insults everything they hold dear in life. (It should insult all Indians, if u ask me)

6. The Indian countryside is infinitely beautiful. You do not have to visit these extortion rackets called "country resorts" to enjoy the beauty of nature.

7. If you are going to start a bonfire from the stump of a tree by the lake bed, on a starry half-moon night you better have along more liquor and meat or at the least some newspapers so u don't have to sit on wet mud.

8. The setting mentioned in #7 can be considered romantic, only if you are in company of a partner of the opposite sex

9. No one takes kindly to being pissed on, especially dying embers of a bonfire you are trying to put out. Watch out for the fire flakes!

10. You can always coax a dhaba guy to make a 5 egg anda burjee, even when his menu mentions only 1 egg anda burjee

11. After several rounds of KingFisher Light, it just takes one Knock Out, to knock you out!!

12. Stay Cool. Even as you skid on a dirt road you have hit by mistake and dust flies all around, waking the passed out men in the back seat. Your calmness will put them back to sleep in no time. There is no greater sin than disturbing the slumber of a drunk man.

13. Before you embark on a road trip - Fill your tank and empty your bladder, repeatedly!

14. Im happy I could keep my vow of abstinence, through this trip!

Would You Make Your New Year Resolution Public?

I know a lot of people scoff at new year resolutions. Primarily, because we end up not keeping them. There are many more who would look down on the idea, as that is giving one day too much significance. Hence some Bankers, moved New Years to 1 April, Fools Day! If you break your resolution, you can tell you conscience, "I was fooling you anyway!!" or would that be vice versa? Only a banker could have done that!! (Play with promises and conscience, and make a chicken and egg story of the two!!)

But I do believe we should be able to make promises to ourselves to keep. Pick a day and do it. Since most of us don't do it anyways, Jan 1 is just as good a day to start. The point being, DO IT. Let us avoid cowardice, and hide behind phrases like "Subconsciously, I knew..." "My Head said..." "My Heart said..." etc

Its a tough battle between the two. Let not the dread of breaking a promise for 300 days of the year, stop us from making a promise for the first 65. Its ok, it gets better. We should not give up on ourselves so easily. Its a struggle worth fighting for - Nirvana, it is, when there is absolute unity between the conscious and subconscious.

I make my promises; some public, most private.


1. I would abstain from alcohol, through the year.
2. I would lose, a kg a week till i get back to my MBA days weight level!
3. The rest are private :)

Oh yes, wish you a very happy new year my dears!!

Another test!!

See my Personality Profile

As with most of these tests - mostly true, but with some exceptions.

Broom Cricket - The Game

Last week I came across another mutation of the great game of cricket.

Venue - Living room of a friend's Apartment in Gurgaon

Equipment - A broom (aka Jhadoo) and a stress ball (those yellow balls with a smiley)

Rules of the Game - Flexible and open to innovation

Ways to get out - One pitch one hand catch / If the broomsman hits the ball on the full against the wall/cupboard/keyboard/table/shoe-rack he or she is out/ Bowled.

Runs - All safe shots off the broom that don't get you out, count for one run

Timing - 10 pm to 2 am

Break - Scotch / Rum / Whiskey / Biryani

Best Rule Innovation - A fielder is designated as Rahul Dravid and if the ball makes contact with him the same rules apply as when they hit "The Wall".

Winners - All. We played for the joy of the game and were too drunk to remember the scores!

Fun Quotient - Awesome. Five Star Rating. Safe for children of all ages.

Addendum - The Honesty Rule (the best innovation cricket has seen

If a batsman disputes an out call or wants to cheat and play again, he needs to "I honestly want another chance" upon which he can play on. The honesty rule can be used only once in an innings.

Result of an Emperical Study into the Rationale Behind Romantic Chemistry Between People

There is no rationale. |End of Study|

The perils of flying Air India

Last week I had to make a quick trip to Chennai. A quick search on the net, showed I would be lucky to get a flight ticket on Air India at a fare which is just about 3 times the bus fare to Chennai at 10-15 am.

Folks at that time, for that price if you get a deal, have no further expectations. Unfortunately, I did. My mistake.

1. You could be booked on the domestic leg of an international flight.
2. You could be stuck in the security line behind 39 [that right i counted] Haj pilgrims, most of whom are on an airplane for the first time in their lives.
3. You could be incredibly hungry and all the snack counters inside the airport could be closed
4. You could get a flight crew, where the air hostess is older than your Grandma!
5. You could get the world's worst breakfast snack on the flight
6. You could run into turbulence and feel the seats vibrate violently. And your granny Air hostess will give you a stern "Do Not Whine" look
7. You could have the worst landing when you think damn I don't wanna go like this
8. You could land up in the airport and go through a swine flu machine that shows your body temperature to have reduced to freezing levels.

Yet for all this, you could still be better off than Ryan Air [or so I am told!]

Would you be massaged by a snake?

I came across this story earlier this week. I was disgusted!! Apparently this has been going on for quite sometime around the world. The reporter in this news-piece refers to the massage as a "sensual feeling". Ain't that bestiality? Illegal in many countries?

In a way however, its only natural progression. Once men acquiesce their role in bringing massage pleasure and relief to their fellow beings, its only natural that the snakes take over, figuratively and otherwise!



So snakes as techies...who btw have the same cribs this hero in the video has!

The Values Proposition

I'm in a profession that involves managing people and their aspirations on behalf of the organization that we work for. Some people, I manage directly but the vast majority indirectly. The rigors of daily work apart, it is always a very interesting experience watching people take life decisions and the grounds on which they take them.

I've seen people use money as the barometer for measuring every situation and people associated with it. Everything from their job to marriage boils down to the monetary value. As I type this, I can hear the dhol at a wedding hall down the street and can't help but wonder, whats the deal there! I somehow thought that by the time we complete our first year at work, it is pretty much established that money is not the only thing, not even the primary thing for one's career! And I wonder at what point of time in life, do we get this realization?

Another kind of decision making, is people who use emotion as the barometer. There is lot of conviction that comes with these decisions as they are of the heart. But often times, this can be quite disastrous as they might turn a deaf ear to valid arguments of reason that could potentially avert disasters. After a while, folks around them learn how these people can be manipulated through their emotions.

There are many more styles of decision making, but their analysis is not the point of this blog. A lot of times, we see that we fluctuate between one style to another. At the top of the month, when the money is in the bank, the style is very different, from the end of the month when we are broke. It seems our entire worldview fluctuates with our bank balance. This is where I've found values make a difference. We need to have a set of values, that shape our world-view. These values should not be prisoner to our bank balance, but a more stable reflection of what we want out of life.

Let these values decide if we should live our dreams or make our dreams fit our life. Whatever, be the result, its our decision and we live with its consequences.

Social Networking Hiatus

A cursory look at my recent Facebook activity, has convinced me that I need to prove to myself that I am just fine without FB. Its a wonderful medium to stay connected with friends and family, but I need to know that i'm not addicted to it. To ensure i don't transfer my interests elsewhere during this period, im off orkut and twitter as well.

Ram took 14 yrs vanvaas and then we had diwali...Me had diwali and 10 day vanvaas from social networking. Lets see how many days I last, coz mind u a] im not a mythical God and b] unlike Ram, i can end my vanvaas in 8 seconds! [thats how long it takes to get on FB mobile!]

Just in case ur wondering, this note wud appear on my FB profile, since its linked to my blog! Today is Day 1 and its gone just fine, so far! :)

The Intellectual Whore to the Punjabi Bride

As a freelancing intellectual whore [IW] to a Punjabi friend, who is to get married shortly, I’ve been privy to the various crests and falls in the waves that is scientifically called, mood swings. The following are a few snippets of my observations, post censoring.

1. There is a spike in the number of tiffs between the couple and they could go for days without speaking to each other
2. The bride actually goes through the same feelings of loss of singledom as the groom, but is not ok if the groom expresses his sadness over the same. She feels her sacrifice is not being appreciated enough.
3. Bride would have a big fight with groom and then bitch to Intellectual Whore about losing her singledom, sometimes I suspect, using the very same words the groom has used.
4. Neither the groom nor the IW will have a clue, why she is picking fights. But that’s the Venetian trait, I guess.
5. Bride wants to watch any movie the groom identifies with during this period, just to ensure our boy doesn’t get any wrong ideas.
6. Bride has a proclivity towards increasing her alcohol consumption. This can be disastrous, if left unsupervised.
7. The biggest fear the bride has is, that her female relatives would call her fat in her wedding dress.
8. To tackle aforesaid fear, bride spends a tremendous amount of time and energy at the gym. Statutory Warning to the Groom – Watch Out for the Post-Marital Explosion!
9. No matter who you are, for your own safety, always deny that she has put on weight, when she starts her weight related crib sessions.
10. Bride would never admit it. But sub-consciously, she has been planning for this wedding her entire life. Ever since, she attended her first wedding as a little girl.
11. Bride likes the fact that the Groom would let her choose all his clothes for the wedding and its associated ceremonies. The odds of the Color of the Groom’s suit, being color-coded with the bride’s blouse and the pandal are extremely high.
12. If you want to appear to be the groom, who is contributing to the wedding arrangements, say Yes to everything she asks for. Watch for the trick question, when you’re supposed to say NO.
13. Always, let the bride pick the honeymoon spot. The groom will get what he wants. Let her choose where.
14. Weddings are an expensive affair and will leave you broke for a time, after the honeymoon.

Well for those of you who don’t know what is an IW, read this. And fortunately, for me, the wedding day would also signal the demise of my only IW relationship.

More Pics from Hampi Trip

Nothing Says Roadtrip like this pic does.


And God Surd Said Go That Way...


True Love - A Man and His Machine


Baap ka sadak hai...soyenge ispe ... tera kya jata hai?


Mudgal fort and its moat - quite literally in the middle of nowhere


Thats an overflowing Krishna river, that has taken over the road and the bridge


The rocks that make Hampi


A building in the royal zenana

 

Tungabhadra Dam by Day

 

Tungabhadra Dam by Night

Austerity Drive Impacting the Masses

One thing about Govt initiatives is that you read a lot about it in the papers and the News Network would smother you to death over it, but the reality would hit us months or years later, if it ever would.

However, the recent austerity drive announced by the Govt has been a noble exception. It has hit the aam aadmi even before he could say aam. Aam admi aka Mango Man, given my fondness for our national fruit, has been hit by this austerity drive so bad, that he has taken to his own austerity drive.

Saddled with the standard expenses of a salaried professional at this time of the year, ie Credit card bills, travel bills, tax savings etc, I have no option but to declare my own austerity drive. Damn it. My disposable income over this quarter would be less than the average autowallah. I have decided to subsist over a meagre 3k month over this quarter. This is my own little reality show - produced, directed and watched by me, starring me.

If its going to cost a fortune to keep me poor, my only supplication, is please do share that fortune with me! :-)

Yeh Dilli Hai Mere Yaar

Something really disturbing happened to me on this trip to Delhi..nostalgia. For a self-proclaimed nomad like me that is the worst feeling to have. Its the first step into the descent into staying rooted somewhere.

A few days in this city and I experienced the myriad of lives you could possibly live here.

1. The Gurgaon Yuppie - Slog it off during the week and hit the malls on Friday evening with office folks for a beer or two.

2. Work it out around CP - Meet a friend for coffee or a movie in CP and then head home

3. Work for the Govt - stay in a palatial house in Lutyens Delhi, hang out at CP or Khan market and top it off with an ice-cream at India Gate

4. Live a miser's life in University campus @ JNU/DU and have the most fun in the world while doing it.

5. Work it off in the city and head home to Dwarka on the metro, while watching all of Delhi on your way to and fro.

Perhaps Delhi is a better place to visit rather than stay? My personal experience says otherwise because when you're tired of it, just drive off into the Mountains or the Dessert, its close enough... or if you have a death wish into Uttar Pradesh!! Its closer.