A quiz i went through...u shud try it too

You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational. Cultural Creative 94% Existentialist 94% Idealist 81% Romanticist 75% Postmodernist 63% Fundamentalist 56% Modernist 44% Materialist 44% What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com

Im not happy.

I imagine my life when I was in college, I hardly had a clue which direction I wanted to go in life. Felt very bad about myself mentally and physically. Wanted very badly to be able to wake up early in the morning. Wanted to be driven. Wanted to be able to walk the talk. To be professional. To be able to look problems in the eye and deal with them. To be the one that could be trusted to get things done.

Today I've done all that. But, I'm not happy... I want more.

If success is driven by wanting more then would I ever be happy?

Definitely. I find great thrills with the smallest joys in life while I leave the bigger issues to fulfill other people's happiness. One more year of education. The world is waiting...and I can't wait to take it on.

I want more...

How I Almost Got Fired From Wipro... :-)

Ok Ive been stacking this blog with the kind of stories that have led to people thinking i have a pretty sorry life! Not True!

Here is a story of how i almost got fired from wipro!
In our wipro email ids, we have the contacts of every employee including azim premji!
so this week when i was making a cab request to the transport dept i put in a cc to the HR dept as well and on a whim i decided to go thru the mailing list! And out of curiosity clicked on azim premji's contact details [curious to know his office add u see!] And lo behold our man's id was added to the cc list!

Now imagine a req for cab being mailed to the Chairmans office!! I know i wouldve lost my job but i also suspect my boss' job wudve been in jeopardy too! On the other hand if he did approve my req for cab...im sure i wudve been travelling around in an ac Honda City for the rest of summer internship :-) Imagine the Travel Desk Guy's face when he sees a summer intern's cab request approved by the CMD!! Oh Man im so excited thinking about this that i actually want to try it out!

ok anyways i somehow spotted his id and removed it, with a huge sigh of relief!

Hmmm...

Woke up at 2.30 am today. Didnt sleep after that...Heard this GNR song at about 5 odd in the common room...I heard this song and its meaning caused me to lacriminate.

She's got a smile that it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry


Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine


She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine
Sweet love of mine

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go
Sweet child o' mine

When man is desperate, even the most routine and normal thing appears to be blown out of propotion. It hurts more than before when the phone is cut. Logical arguments that evoked admiration before now seem designed to keep a distance. This madness seeks reassurance but what if the reassurer is also going mad? Neither can reassure each other but end up aggravating it in their own weird way. The only hope is that when the pain is severe the balm is ultra bliss. Would there ever be a balm to this?

:-)

Things change...all in a matter of minutes. you're issue may not be resolved but it doesnt bother you that much. I live to die another day!! I want to enjoy that life however long or short it might be.

Doing the right thing is painful

Ultra painful. Just the thought of how Im going to see somebody for the next one year and not be able to speak a word...see them very happy and not be part of that happiness or even the reason for it. Not able to emote not able to appreciate, compliment or even get close to look in the eye.

IF THERE IS A GOD ABOVE I ASK YOU THIS QUESTION. WHY ME? WHAT HAVE I DONE? HOW HAVE I SINNED? TELL ME DAMMIT TELL ME WHY DO U PUT ME THRU THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN.

40 mins back i got off the metro. 30 mins back it took just 10 secs for me to die. For me to see someone and not even be able to croak a word of appreciation out my mouth that flowed so easily even yesterday...i wonder how on earth im gonna go thru this.

WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THRU THIS IN MY LIFE?

Made my move

I slept for 20 mins and honestly it felt like 3 hours. Is it that im that relieved or that tired. But i did what i had to... I may have lost the plot because i said things in the wrong manner. And in fact I might even have lost it because I opened my mouth at all. But I have no regrets. I didn't hold out any illusions to anyone. I spoke my mind, my fears and my insecurities. If that is a problem then its a pity. But then thats how life is. This journey may have ended earlier than expected. Painful. I wished it never ended. But it rather not continue on illusions. Hmmm....Painful.Painful.Painful. Is it worth this pain? I dont know. Hope life doesn't prove it is not.

Conflicting Emotions

In life we come across certain times and moments where we can withhold feelings, emotions, facts or ignore them to our advantage. It is very tough to do the right thing and risk losing what probably holds most value to you. Doing the right thing is a gamble with nothing that you can do about it….nothing. It’s the most frustrating moment in life where every conscious brain cell of yours asks you to manipulate to your advantage. It has taken me sometime to clear my mind up and I’m not sure that if I still might not go back on my decision now. Its better to act and let the deed be done than to deliberate about it and let myself be sucked in by my practical side.

I’m not a believer, but I have pretensions to be Righteous. Doing the right thing, puts me and the people around me in great difficulty. But that’s why one should do the right thing, beyond personal pain. Personal pain is maximum when the people around me get hurt.

Letting go twice in a year is stupendous! Never ever thought I’ll have to do it even once in my life. And never thought I’ll be doing it again and that too so quick. But life is such. I can hang around and win this little battle, manipulating and being a nasty person. But then I don’t want the prize of such a battle. Honour and respect mean more to me now than ever before as I want that this prize be won with dignity, honor and respect so that I can keep it and it can keep me with me pride, dignity and respect, knowing that I did nothing wrong. And so I never have to look back in life and feel bad or guilty about anything.

I’ll live a good life and full life. I’m sure of that but thus far for all its imperfections, I’ve never regretted anything I ever did in my life. I don’t want to start doing that now.