Pehchan Kaun

Thats for making a logo with zero inspiration... take that Airtel and JWT!!

And as for the video, with the guy popping up wherever the girl goes...isn't that a bit like Johnny Bravo? Only difference, is the girl is happy to see the guy in the ad.

Whiskey Tequila Frooti - WTF. Its gonna be a thing.

So you're 27 yr old testosterone driven male Vodafone user ever since you got a mobile phone. You wonder if your brand is meant for you. You tolerate the pug and the zoozoo though deep down you wonder it aint a little gay. But then you see the new Vodafone ad openly pandering to women and you think, Whiskey Tequila Frooti



You look at the new Airtel logo, that looks a lot like a lot of things you have seen before but can't quite place your finger on and think Whiskey Tequila Frooti.

And then in that little moment,you know thats exactly what Sunil Bharti Mittal must have been drinking when he approved the new logo! Whiskey+Tequila with Frooti.

Its been a long week and your boss calls you on Friday with a request so patently lousy that even Dilbert would go Whiskey Tequila Frooti along with you.

Your team thinks that you are a pompous ass. Whiskey Tequila Frooti. How did they know?!

Your stuck in a 2 hour traffic jam to get home on Friday, when you get a flat tyre. Yes. Whiskey Tequila Frooti

While you change your tyre, a cop fines you for stopping in a no-parking zone.Whiskey Tequila Frooti

You get home to see a 12 hour power cut and no water supply. Whiskey Tequila Frooti

You go to a restaurant, but forget your wallet. Whiskey Tequila Frooti

After all this, your partner thinks you have been deliberately ignoring her. Whiskey Tequila Frooti.

So you get the idea of WTF-Whiskey Tequila Frooti? Now in case you're wondering, why this combination? WTF!! who drinks this combination anyway??

Neighbour's Envy : Owner's Pride - A Strategy for Foreign Policy?

Anyone who has read the recent book, "Obama's Wars" by Bob Woodward would be struck by 3 things. [a] Afghanistan has been on drift in the Bush years [b] Pakistan has been basically owning the Americans and playing them at will [c] Any American military tactic would be an exercise in find a face-saving exit.

There is a very interesting analogy attributed in the book to the Pakistani Ambassador to the United Stated Haqqani. He says that Pakistan like Iran is a nation of carpet salesman and diplomacy with them is like a negotiation. You got to keep on haggling on the price. Very often the buyer (in this case the US) gets disoriented In the entire seduction of the bargain and ends up with something they would never have bought when they started out! The realities of today are no less amusing. Al Qaeda is today in Pakistan. It is more dangerous for them to be in Afghanistan. The Americans set out in 2001 to root out Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and Pakistan was their ally! If this were December 2001, the Americans would have gone into Pakistan. But somehow they are doling out billions of dollars of defence aid to Pakistan with nothing more than hope.

You have got to hand it to the Pakistanis. They are like the prodigal son of the family. Rowdy, impetuous, always getting into trouble with the good elder sibling (india) watches, yet however they get away with everything and also get the girl in the end!! Pakistan is living Salman Khan’s life!

In this context the recent pronouncements by Obama on his India visit is a landmark move by the American establishment. The Americans had already realized the Pakistani game. But for the first time they have a strategy to deal with it.

If carpet bargaining were an essential South Asian trait, sibling rivalry and jealousy is the crown. By placing up India’s role in this part of the world, the Americans have started off what could be a very bloody game in turning around Pakistan. A disaffected Pakistan could wreck havoc in the short run in the region in an attempt to role back or slow down American largesse to India. If however the Americans hold their ground, then the Pakistanis would start their carpet bargaining game again. Layer by layer new offers would be made. American leverage here is India ie the threat that they would rather get their carpets from the Big brother next door.

Possible things that would happen in the months to come would be
A] Terrorist attacks on American interests in Afghanistan
B] Another 26/11 type attack in India
C] Terrorist attacks on American interests in India
D] Pakistan giving up some senior level Taliban figures to earn goodwill

E] Pakistan giving up Mullah Omar, the Taliban chief
F] Pakistan giving up Al-Zawhari or other senior Al Qaeda leader
G] Osama Bin Laden, dying naturally (due to his kidney ailment)
H] Pakistan giving up Osama Bin Laden

The outer limit to this is the 2012 Presidential elections. If Obama gets re-elected, Pakistan sees a longer game. Else they might have an opportunity to redo from start. Either way the Americans have just unleashed a new wave of chaos. Chaos precedes stability. This unfolding diplomatic game of Neighbors Envy, Owners Pride is sure to usher in interesting times.

Tragic Suicide of Young Woman

In another tragic incident, the chaotic lifestyle of today's urban youth claimed another victim.

Renu Chawla was a 30 yr old successful newscaster for Channel WTF. Though she was from a reasonably affluent middle class background, Renu had to go through her share of problems in life. Educated in a conservative nunnery aka boarding school in Shimla, Renu felt like a freed bird when she moved to one of India’s premier colleges. Inebriation, intoxication and orgasms were words learnt in school but understood in college. These should not mask the fact that Renu was exceptional at studies, which explains her admission to these premier institutions. She was a girl who also had her fun. (If guys reading this are feeling sorry for themselves, ur bad). This life would have been the dream for any guy.

Renu went on to weather a turbulent marriage that was preceded by a whirlwind romance to a guy, whose virtues were visible only to her. She found him funny, smart, handsome and caring. Others however saw him to be slimy, two-faced and perpetually horny. The inevitable divorce left Renu in the dumps but she got her career soaring as a way of coping. Long work days, longer party nights with friends were now her lifestyle. Evading her parents and snooty relatives was now her favorite pastime. It is into this dysfunctional life he came in. She affectionately called him Kenny and she was crazy for him. She changed completely. Work now stopped at 6pm. Friends could wait for the weekend. She could now see her family in the eye.

And then one day she caught Kenny following Sara into her house. Sara was her neighbor and a TV model to boot. She hated that bitch. That bitch with her long silky hair and all. She especially hated her during her bad hair days. Tears streamed down her eyes. All the disappointments of her life flashed in front of her eyes. In a moment of madness, she jumped off her 10th floor balcony.

It was a huge story. Channel WTF covered it LIVE for 36 hours. The Police arrested her ex-husband for abetment of suicide. A heartbroken Kenny sat in the balcony and refused to eat for days and eventually died.

Video of that Bitch, Sara.


PS: This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any Renu Chawla, Kenny or Channel WTF is entirely coincidental. However, the same may not be true for others and if this story reminds you of snippets from your own life call a suicide helpline. I shall not be responsible for any damage you do yourself or anyone around you

Kashmir Does Matter - Dont Mess With It

The recent outburst by Arundhati Roy and the reactions to it had got me thinking. While it was easy shooting down the messenger, Ms.Roy, I was however, finding it a little more difficult to overlook her message - The hopelessness felt by the people of Kashmir.

I agree that Kashmir is part of the overall geo-political game in the region and a weak hand by the Indian Government, would have ramifications for the rest of India. After a long search over the past 10 days I have discovered some cynical, startling truths that I cannot explain or justify but I have come to believe.

1. Never trust the Pakistani establishment. But, given that my state of confusion was regarding Kashmir, I would henceforth stick only to the Kashmir problem.

2. The media and punditry has always criticized the GoI for lacking imagination but never have come up with any worth while suggestions themselves. The closest anyone has come up to convince me with their idea for this has been...Pervez Musharaf!!



Watch from 6.55 onwards

3. Power Corrupts. Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely. AFSPA is absolute power. And giving it in the hands of men trained for battle and the moral compass of whose leaders may not always be pointing North (refer Adarsh Society) is asking for trouble. This is not a problem that is restricted to the Indian State. Even the holier than thou Western powers have asked Amnesty International to take a walk when it comes to territories in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Army is meant to fight battles, not govern. They can build a bridge, better and faster than anyone else in the country. But that does not mean we let them run the country, state or districts. This is applicable in every state and corner of the country, of which Kashmir is only one.

4. It is not the Army's job to step in for the failure of elected officials to provide Governance and of bureaucrats to provide efficient pubic service. An efficient democratic process at least lets us throw out the politicians but who is holding the Judiciary and the Bureaucracy of India accountable? The bureaucrats of the country, at worst get a transfer for misdeeds or suspension with pay till they are inevitably restored. Judicial Accountability is the biggest joke in this country. The media is not allowed to question them, without attracting contempt of court proceedings and in the rarest of rare cases where the message does get through, the judge is transferred! So while this is the state of affairs in India, in Kashmir, the bureaucracy is skeletal and the judiciary phantom.

5. One of the biggest reasons for the intractable stance of most Indians in Kashmir is that they do not really have the true picture of what is happening on the ground in Kashmir. It is important for the media to give an accurate picture of the issues on the ground. Fair and balanced, but not the Fox News style! By peddling the Government's side, they are letting the Govt off the hook for its failings.

6. India is a collection of states and culture. Despite the best efforts of our Civics text books, we grow to realize that there is no "Indian culture". Most Indians would feel discriminated and subject to racial taunts when they go to other parts of the country. Ask anyone from the North East in Delhi or South Indian in Delhi or North Indian in Chennai or Bihari in Mumbai. Yet we travel and move to fulfill our dreams. We assimilate and learn. We understand and forgive. We grow by being more Indian.

Being Indian is an acquired taste. I think its worth it.