Breaking News : Leading IT Company declares 0% attrition through 2010-11

In what can only be described as a Bradmanesque achievement one of the industry leading marquee IT firms stole a march over all other companies in declaring that it has seen 0% attrition in the entire financial year of 2010-11. When asked by dumb-founded analysts about the secret behind this incredulous achievement, the Chairman of the company pointed to an internal policy memo circulated to its employees by its Chief Human Resource Officer last March.

Dear Employee,
As you would be knowing, we are going through tough times in the IT industry. To help the company overcome these uncertain times, I am implementing the following steps
• I would be linking 30% of your take-home salary to the company performance. And since the company is not doing well, you will in-effect be having a 30% pay-cut.
• I’m also happy to inform you that the above policy would be in-effect for 2 yrs. And when we revert to our old policy all of you would feel like you have got a 30% hike with no additional cost to the company.
• I am implementing a High Convenience travel policy. All future travel requests would start with an Autorickshaw request, For example, if an employee has to travel between Delhi and Chennai, he would start with an Autorickshaw request. If no autos are available, then a bus request and if no buses are available then a train request and finally if no other option is available, the supervisor would fly to Chennai.
• I am terminating the entire house keeping staff in all our office with immediate effect. Employees in bench would be utilized for these services. This would be part of our effort to imbibe Gandhian values in the workplace.
• In appreciation of the employee contribution to the company, with immediate effect I am rewarding all employees with two free Gulab Jamuns at lunch.

I know that all of you would appreciate the Gulab Jamuns and continue to work with us

RAJNIKANTH
Chief Human Resource Officer